HOW I LEARNED TO LISTEN TO MY BODY

By Patricia Yeamans, LMHC (State of Rhode Island) LPCC (State of New Mexico)

It came to me over time, after 30 years of dieting, extreme exercising and restrictive behavior management, that this awesome body I was “raising” could communicate to me if I had “ears to hear.” This meant doing whatever my body told me to do. If it was hungry, feed it, if it was thirsty, hydrate it. When it hurt to walk, it asked me for fitness. When I needed to move my bowels, it said, “put the right stuff in my digestive tract so I can eliminate it.” Oh, my body had a lot to say and it took me a long time to hear her words.

The echo of her words follow me and guide me yet today:

…Have enough sleep, so I have the energy to make it through each day;
…Bring interesting information to my consciousness, so I have curiosity and depth;
…Plan to take care of me when you know you will not have enough time.
NOTICE ME!
LISTEN TO ME!
…You are the only way I can live,
…I need you to take care of me.
…Don’t let me get sick, old, fat or ugly. (Ok, maybe I crossed a line)
Anyway, could I be a priority since we need each other to live?
…Finally, be gentle with me.
…And, by the way, find other bodies for me to love and who love me. I need
company and want to feel other bodies who are trying to find care, nurturing
and aware of the people in charge of them.
…I don’t like to feel afraid and lonely, abandoned and ignored.
…Please help me find passion, zeal, yearning and quest.
…Give me a mission, a reason, so it all seems worth the trouble.

“Thank you for listening,” she said, “And know that I know I am lucky to have a spirit with me who now really notices me and can hear my needs.” She made it loud and clear when I needed her help, these were her other messages I must listen for:

1. If you have eaten enough, I will make you feel satisfied – NOTICE ME!
2. If you need exercise, I will make you feel restless – NOTICE ME!
3. If I am bored, I will send a willingness to be open-handedly amused and entertained – Give ME A CHANCE – NOTICE ME!
4. If I am lonely, I will open you to opportunity for company – NOTICE ME!
5. If I am afraid, I will move deep inside – COMFORT ME!

No one but us will suffer and no one else will die if we die. I make this promise, ‘my precious being,’ to give you a voice I listen to and appreciate that only in working together will either of us survive living freely and fully.

I realize now when you gave me big hunger, it was you trying to protect me when you noticed I didn’t feel big enough in my own adult life. I got you too large and together we felt miserable and uncomfortable.

O got too fat and then it seemed necessary to starve you, thinking I would then feel better. I didn’t.

Often, I was compelled to retreat into food, and I used you, “precious” to contain me, and we both felt better. But it lasted only a short while, didn’t it? Then we both felt gross.

The many times you tried to scream, “STOP, clean me out, let me rest!” But all you got was junk food, and I deprived you of the wonder and taste of the sweetness of fresh fruits and vegetables that you so badly longed for. You wanted
to cry, and I did cry. Seemed I cried a lot.

You hoped I would see a professional. Oh, how I wish I had heard you much sooner.

How was it I could still your voice, not know you existed? I’m sure there were moments you wish you could take off on your own caring for yourself. How thankful, the time came we each understood, you needed me and I needed you.

You SENT ME SIGNALS,
Finally, I LISTENED,
For this I AM ALIVE,
For this, I AM GRATEFUL!